My sister became ill suddenly in Spring of 1998. I brought her two younger children home to live with me. Believe me, this was a real change in my life. My daughter was already grown and living in her own home with her own family.

 

Mornings became very stressful. The nine year old girl had a lot of hair like her mother.

It is of a different texture than mine. It does not stay where you put it. This made it 

necessary to comb the child's hair everyday. After two weeks I was very frazzled. It became obvious that it was time for her to start combing her own hair.

 

I found some of  my daughter's old dolls that had lot of hair. We also had one of those styling heads that  was popular at the time. She was very sad over her Mother's illness so she never questioned why we were playing dolls. We made braids, cornrows and twists. We set the hair in rollers. In an hour she learned to make some pretty impressive styles on the doll heads.

 

We posed the dolls around the room. I asked her to sit down in front of the mirror.

 

"Now do your own,"I told her.

"I can't comb my own hair!" She insisted.

 

"Oh, yes you can. You have just become a stylist of doll hair with only an hour of practice.  Now it is time for you to practice combing your own. Besides it is a good thing to know how to do hair. It could make you money one day."

 

She practiced until she was tired. In a week she was really getting good. I stopped combing it for  her.  When she got lazy she left it in a ponytail and only brushed the edges down flat. She was cured of that when it came time to wash it. The hair in the middle of the ponytail had started to dread. It had also caught a lot of lint. (Lint caught in the hair causes breakage) We couldn't comb it.  It was a real mess. Some tears were shed that day.

Large clumps of hair had to be removed with the scissors.  Needless to say, she learned her lesson.

 

She has become very adept at doing hair. She is now 18 and in her last year of high school.

She makes money at her school by braiding and cutting hair. She even cuts and styles my hair. She is rather good. I like the way she cuts my hair. She only takes off as much as I ask her.

I recently viewed a documentary video on Black Hair that depicted the fact that the Black Beauty Supply Business has been totally monopolized by Koreans. I was not aware of the fact that this was so widespread. I did not know that there was an organized effort to drive Black Beauty Suppliers out of business. Perhaps it is because I do my own hair. I was very hurt one day as I sat in a beauty shop in NYC. I do not have a permanent in my hair. (a straightener)

     I heard some young girls behind me talking as the stylist blow dried my hair.

     "Just look at that mess. Why is she taking up all of Lilly's time with that mane?"

     Her friend giggled. "It really is a mess. She should cut it. Didn't she ever hear of a permanent."

     "That stuff needs cultivating. She gone break all the combs in the shop."

     "And how long is that going to take? She is holding up the best stylist."

     I stood up and walked over to the young lady and said. "Yes, I have heard of a permanent and I have also heard of a temporary." I almost had to fight one of my own people because of my natural hair.  My stylist did not like the talk anymore than I did. She is Dominican and had just finished telling me that my hair is just like her Mother's. She announced that I would be her last customer for the day and proceeded to take her time.

      Long ago, in my twenties when we were raising our fists and sporting the Afro, I realized that I could wear my hair anyway I liked. One of my white students asked me once how I could wear my hair so many different ways.

     "Because, my dear, I am many women," was my answer.

     I seldom visit beauty parlors because they all want to cut, perm or hot comb my hair. They have such problems with my

hair and take a very long time to blow it dry. It is also never dry when they finish. I generally have an Afro by the  time I get home. Therefore, I spend money to get my hair done and I am forced to do it over again.  I think it is because they start at the nape of the neck the way they are taught in Beauty School. Did anyone ever hear of gravity.  Really thick hair takes a while to blow dry. By the time you reach the top of the head the water has found its way down to the nape of the neck and that hair is now a little damp and curling again. I begin in front of my head and work my way to the back. My hair stays straight longer when I do it myself. I also do my Granddaughter's hair. Illustrations are included in my blog album.

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     My mother always told me that she loved my hair and wished that her hair was like mine. I never believed her until she said it over and over again as she fiddled with my twists on her sickbed when she was dying. She was part Sioux so her hair was straight and thin. She never knew how to do my hair for this reason. I was the only one of 6 girls that had hair like my father. I was the only kinky headed child in the family. Go Figure! In My early pictures I really am quite the little "pickaninny" and was called that quite often as a child. I have worn my hair in corn rows, box braids, straight, curled tight to my head, in flat top Afro's, round Afro's. My junior year in college I had my head shaved and waxed. This disturbed a lot of people. A young white lady in my abnormal psychology class was so distressed that she actually cried and left the classroom. She wanted to know what my boyfriend thought of my shaven head. When she asked how I could shave off my crowning glory, I answered, "My breasts have always been my crowning glory." My answer upset her so much that she left class.

     My Aunt Marion and my cousin Sweet Pea taught me how to do my hair. Aunt Marion taught me the old fashioned box braid,  plaits, and threading. Threading is when you use ordinary black sewing thread to wrap the hair from root to ends.  Cousing Sweet Pea taught me to wash, groom and straighten it with the hot comb. Blow dryers became my friend when I moved north as a teenager.

    Hair preparation time can be a real bonding experience when dealing with young girls. My granddaughter is my biggest fan. My daughter is like my mother. She cannot do hair. Paris refuses me nothing, because I do her hair. We talk and get to know each other during this time. I learn about her school work and other things that Grandma's want to get nosey about. Doing her hair has strengthened our relationship. With her grandmother's help she is learning that her hair is beautiful.

     Black women have processed their hair so much that they don't even know what it is like anymore. Sometimes when I look at the edges of a permed hairstyle I want to scream. The hair is literally receeding from the face because they are trying so hard to straighten the edges where the hair is shorter. I have had perms in my life. They always gave me 3rd degree burns. My dermatologist says it is because I am allergic to many of the elements in the products. I once watched my hair go down the drain with skin attached to it. When my hair was done I had a bald spot in the back of my head. The stylist claimed that it was that way when i entered the shop.

    The secret to caring for Black Hair is a lot simpler than many people think. The key to getting the hair straight is that you dry the hair while it is stretching. That is the the same principle when dressing the hair of any woman when she wants it straight. Most black women have no idea that the blow dryer will straighten their hair. They have been so brain washed into purchasing the products and trying to get the hair bone silky straight that they don't even know what their natural hair is like.

    Black women, you don't even need the hot comb anymore. The heat of the blow dryer and the curling iron is enough. You may cut out one damaging step when dressing your hair.

    You should also examine the tools the hairdresser uses. Damaged combs, brushes and blow dryers only pull out your hair.

When I have my hair colored, I take my own comb, brush, and blow dryer to the shop. If the hairdresser refuses to use my tools, I leave.

     You should also remember that hair grows from the inside. Blacks are generally lactose intolerant and do not get enough vitamin D in their diets because of the milk. I am one of those people. Stress will also make hair thin and fall out, especially when you have a perm. Take it easy and take your supplements. Give your hair a break. It is beautiful. Remember that if you dry the kinkiest hair while stretching, it will get straight.